It's not going to stop

It's not
What you thought
When you first began it
You got
What you want
Now you can hardly stand it though,
By now you know
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
'Til you wise up

You're sure
There's a cure
And you have finally found it
You think
One drink
Will shrink you 'til you're underground
And living down
But it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
'Til you wise up

Prepare a list of what you need
Before you sign away the deed
'Cause it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
'Til you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
'Til you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
So just...give up

昨天我還滿腦子都是Hush的波希米亞(那MV實在拍得很好看)，結果今天不小心聽了這首歌，就無法停止地重複播放了。順帶一提，這首歌是Aimee Mann的Wise Up，是電影Magnolia的主題曲。不久後我一定要好好看看這部影片。

我不知道其他人怎麼詮釋這首歌。也許心境不一樣的人對這首歌會有不同的理解，但對我來說這首歌就是絕望。音樂本來就沒必要只傳達正面的訊息，這世界本來就不是只有光明與希望的。對一個像我一樣悲觀的人來說，這樣的歌反而可以讓我更正視內心一直存在的黑暗。

不管我多麼努力去讓自己變得更好，多麼努力去追求快樂，那些不如意的事，還有心中的孤獨感都不會停止出現。我需要接受它是我生命的一部分，我才能活得坦然。當我因為希望的破滅而悲傷，因為看不起自己而自暴自棄時，這種絕望感反而可以讓我平靜下來。

這一切都不會停止。包括我的生命。