A Dialogue Between Me & My Ghost

ME: if you would sing me a song
a simple one would cheer me up
then I would take this walk
but you decide which way to go
in my life , there were doubts
different kinds that made me frown
in my dreams , you were found
I must be haunted

ME: if you would write me a poem
just simple lines would make things work
then I would find you a home
where mountains high and water flows
all my life , I fooled around
though I've tried to settle down
in my dreams , you pronounced that
I've been haunted by now ...

ME: if you would help me grow (MY GHOST: I will help you grow)
some pretty flowers and Saint John's Worts (My GHOST: Saint John's Worts)
then I would take it slow (MY GHOST: you must take it slow)
to stay alive a few years more (MY GHOST: please stay alive)
all my life I've been drowned by (MY GHOST: you've been drowned)
all these wines and all the crowd (MY GHOST: by the crowed)
in my dreams , you made me proud (MY GHOST: I made you proud)
but still we're haunted,
so haunted right now ... (MY GHOST: so haunted right now ...)

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我很喜歡這首歌
而你知道facebook總是這樣
分享自己真正喜歡的東西總是得不到任何回應
(也應該是因為我的品味太偏了)
所以只好搬到這裡來說說
雖然也不會有任何回應...

其實我在一年多前就聽過這首歌了
只是在當時除了旋律好聽外也沒其它感覺
直到ciacia說明這是寫給憂鬱症患者的歌
這首歌在我心中才開始有了生命

我想只有體驗過的人才寫得出如此抑鬱又溫柔的歌
當自己靜靜地漂浮在空無一人的黑暗中
只看得到自己內心的壞情緒不斷擴大
那種感覺的確跟見鬼差不多
而看著那萬花筒彷彿把我帶進了那意識深處
嘴巴喃喃地跟著唱
眼淚就不知不覺地掉下來了

對我來說憂鬱症的定義有點太廣了
廣得我都不知道自己是否曾經有過
或者是否已經痊癒了
而直到現在
在黑暗中我還是會把自己分成兩個人
想像著屬於自己的擁抱
想像著一把聲音在輕聲安撫
我才能沉沉入睡

畢竟最了解自己
並且會一直陪著自己的人
也就只有自己而已

說到這裡想起了另一首很喜歡的歌
范曉萱的鬼打牆
也是一首無法找到人分享的歌哪